Title: Still A Long Way Home
Category: TV Shows » Supernatural
Author: Innocuous
Language: English, Rating: Fiction Rated: K+
Genre: Angst
Published: 05-09-08, Updated: 01-20-09
Chapters: 14, Words: 21,112
Chapter
1: Back In The Days
The clock read
12:30 AM.
Outside the
wind was blowing hard and the torrential rain, deafening. Inside the Whitfield
manor--two creatures were stirring though for entirely different reasons.
15-year old Dean Winchester and his little brother, 11 year-old Sammy. The
grannies are at the farm; have been there for 2 days now. They left the two
boys at home. All alone by themselves. Amaliah, having no idea still-- to the
goings on and real score between the two boys, never gave it a second thought
to follow after her husband to the farm after Armando got stuck there for the
last two days straight prior to her following after him, and later herself
getting stuck there too--because of the storm that just broke.
Dean is awake
and currently watching tv in his bedroom; that's when he caught the time--12:30
AM. He has the volume up on his television and is currently enjoying a hell of
a time since he knows nobody is going to tell him to turn the volume down.
Halfway into his viewing pleasure though, he felt hungry and thirsty. When he was
coming out of his door to the hallway, as he was headed for the top of the
stairs; something caught his attention through the corner of his eye when he
came out earlier. He looked over his shoulder subtlely and caught his little
brother, next to his door all curled up, knees drawn to his chest--hugging his
knees. The kid is sleeping outside of his big brother's door.
That scene
right there went slamming into the boy's side of the head. He was brought back
to that time when Sam was barely 4 and it was pretty much raining as hard.
Cue in Dean's flashback...
The thunder
just clapped. A few seconds later, Dean could hear tiny baby footsteps coming
from the hallway towards his room; running. Then his bedroom door knob
clattered.
Dean loved the
fact of getting nightly visits from his mom and Sam every night. When she would
come in his room bringing his little brother with her; she would fix his
blanket for him and give him warm kisses all over the face before she tells him
good night. Sam would slobber all over the older boy’s face too, but the former
didn’t mind it. He loved these nighttime visits from them that’s why he leaves
his door unlocked.
It’s been four
days now, since she was gone; no more visits—no more warm kisses on the
face--no more mom.
His door is locked
this time.
“Deanie…” a
soft baby voice just came from outside the door.
Dean heard it,
the voice tugged on his heart, he bolted up when he heard it; but then he
recalled what he heard their dad say in the office to Eloise.
“It was Sam’s
fault, you hear me! It is his fault your mom isn’t here anymore! He took her
away from us!” And Dean recalled their dad’s tear-stained face when he said it.
As much as his dad scares him, Dean loves his dad and he would never want him
to get hurt.
“Deanie...Sammy
scared…Sammy scared…”
The thunder
clapped again. Dean got up and was walking towards the door to open it, when it
started ringing in his ears again; “It was Sam’s fault… He took her away from
us!” The older boy retracted his hand from the doorknob.
“Deanie…” came
the baby voice again, but this time it was coming more from under the door. The
boy could just imagine that Sam was sitting outside on the floor, leaning
against the door. “Sammy scared, Deanie…pwease wake up…”
Dean wanted to
open the door but he didn’t. He instead found himself slid to the floor
himself, leaning against the door, on the other side. Their backs were to each
other with the door in between them. “Sammy…” He whispers his baby brother's
name.
The thunder
clapped again.
The three-year
old just started sobbing, he was hugging his chubby little knees to his chest
as he buried his face to his chest.
“Deanie…mommy…”
Dean just
leaned his head against the door. He could hear everything going on behind the
door on the outside. He could hear Sam’s sobs and whimpers, he very well knows
the thunder frightens Sam, he wanted to open the door and just grab his baby
brother inside his room for their usual sleep over when their mom was still
alive then. He wanted to just hold his brother so many times at the funeral
too, but the look on their dad’s face whenever he or Eloise would try and go
near the littlest Winchester made the two boys cower. So they stayed away from
Sam, and with what he just heard John tell Eloise in his office—it just sealed
the fact that things just have to change around the house with how they would
be around Sam.
“He took her
away from us!” he heard it again in his head, he shut his eyes and felt warm
tears stream down his face. ‘Sammy…’
Present day...
Dean, as he
was making himself a sandwich in the kitchen, he was crying. His heart ached.
'Sammy...I
don't know why I hate you so much right now...I'm so sorry, little
brother...I'm so sorry. I don't know why I'm doing this...' he says in his
head, a few seconds later, the boy finds himself putting down the sandwich he
was making as he slid to the floor behind the counter. He sobbed even more the
moment his butt hit the floor. 'Mom...mom, what am I doing to Sammy? I don't
know why I got this so much hatred for somebody I still love with all my
heart?...I don't know what I'm doing anymore, mom...'
Upstairs,
Sammy just stirred and noticed his Deanie's door open a crack. he slowly got up
and pushed the door open. He knew Dean would be mad. Dean could hurt him if he
got caught just being near him; but at the moment, he was too scared of the
thunderstorm to be scared of getting yelled at or punched. Peeping in
cautiously, holding his breath--Sam bobbed his head further into the room, only
to find it empty of his big brother.
He started to
wheeze.
'Dean left
me...'
The kid stood
there by the doorway even more afraid of being alone than he is of the
thunderstorm now--or even getting beaten up by his big brother. The next thing
was, he quietly goes back to his room; the kid doesn't even find it necessary
to close his door anymore. He left it open a couple feet wide.
When Dean went
back up, half an hour later, as he was about to go to sleep--he finds himself
bumping his head against the head board after he finds his bed missing of it's
ensemble.
His pillows
weren't there anymore. His two gigantic pillows are gone.
"What the
hell--"
He couldn't
explain it. But he somehow found himself standing outside Sam's door seconds
later. Looking in, walking in further--Dean finds himself alongside the kid's
bed--watching the kid sleeping peacefully, in between his missing gigantic
pillows. The older boy quietly closed the door first before he walked back
towards Sam's bed and slowly eased himself onto the bed next to Sam. Before he
allowed his eyes to finally rest, Dean turns to his side, facing Sam.
'I love you,
Sammy...' he says in his head. 'I really do.'
He carefully
leans in and plants a soft kiss on the kid's cheek right before he did get
himself some sleep. The next day, he was up early and left the kid's room. Sam
never found out that his big brother was even there.
Chapter
2: Willing Hostages
Sam's lids
fluttered slowly and then they opened altogether. The kid was awake, but
somehow, he doesn’t bother sitting up. His head is still fuzzy with sleep.
Getting a yawn out and rubbing his eyes with his knuckles, Sam then turned to
his side and curled up, burying his nose onto one of the gigantic pillows he
had been sleeping in the middle of the whole night. The scent on the pillow he
was hugging was familiar. He remembers it. He never forgot it--not once. The
same scent has always been with him--familiar to him ever since he was
introduced to it when he was a baby. It was his Deanie's scent.
That's when
his eyes shot wide open. He just remembered that he had taken those pillows
hostage last night--from his Deanie's bedroom. The same big brother who use to
love him before, but doesn't anymore. Just the thought of being caught with
them by him was enough for the boy to scramble out of bed and scamper to the
door, down the hallway--to his big brother's bedroom in three seconds tops; the
said hostages dragging behind him. The door was just as he found them last
night; open a crack. He would have wanted not to even move the door at all
since he was skinny and tiny enough to fit in the crack; only the pillows won't
fit in it. So he needed to push the door open further a little bit wider.
Inspite the
attempt at avoiding a single sound, the door still creaked. Sam shut his eyes,
held his breath and the two pillows on each hand tight. Expectant to get the
business end of whatever his big brother would get his hand on this time to hit
him with. But that never came. Sam opened his eyes one at a time and looked
around, the room was empty.
He looked
inside the bathroom, the closet--everywhere; even outside the window for any
sign of his big brother. But there was none. The kid finds himself sitting on
the floor of Dean's room, leaning his back against the older boy's bed. On
either side of him are his big brother's gigantean sleeping paraphernalias.
The kid sat
there for several minutes before he eventually got up, fixed Dean's bed and
then head for the door to go out. As he was already at the door though--pulling
it close, he saw something under the older boy's bed. Sam is on his knees
inside the middle of the room again. He reaches his hand in and when he
retracted it--he was holding on to the item that caught his attention.
It was a video
camera. An old one; their old one. Sam may have been too young to remember what
the gadget took video of before, but he does remember seeing it when he was
little. When he checked for any tape that goes with it--he found a bunch under
Dean's bed. As he is looking at the big box and the video camera in front of
him, sitting on the floor; he is even more curious that before--and hopeful;
that somehow, he'd be able to get to see older video footages--even just a
glimpse, of the family he use to belong to before. And he was rewarded somehow;
he got his little heart's wish.
The tape
inside the video camera was of Mary and John getting married. Sam's eyes
started to get teary at the sight of his parents dancing at their reception;
his little hand keep touching the little screen on the gadget everytime both of
his parents' faces get focused on it.
'Wow, you look
really beautiful, mommy...' he says proudly, '...really you do. And daddy--he
looks beautiful too...'
He hit pause
at his mom's face on the monitor; he affectionately traced his little fingers
on her smiling face and gave the image on the screen a soft kiss.
'I love you
mommy. I love you very, very much. I hope you know that I do.' he says in his
head. The kid sits back against the bed again, his eyes not leaving the monitor
with his mom's face on it. "Can you see me from up there in heaven mommy?
I hope you can to see me..." he sighs heavily, "...I wish you can
hear me too, mommy. I want to tell you that I'm sorry I made you get in that
accident and you died. I didn't want you to die, mommy. I'm sorry you died and
I didn't...I wish I died and you didn't, mom. I pray really hard every night
since grampa told me daddy is angry with me, mom...I didn't know daddy was
angry with me. But I do now--after grampa told me. I'm sorry already,
okay?" tears are streaming down the sides of his reddened cheeks as he is
talking to Mary's face on the video camera screen; like she was even alive.
"I always pray to god to give you back to daddy... to Teddy...to Deanie.
So they'll be happy again...like before, mommy--when you were alive. Mom, why
hasn't he given you back yet? Does god hate me too like Dean does too
now?"
Dean was about
to go back to his room just then when, just in time--he noticed Sam in there
and heard what the kid said.
"Does god hate me too like Dean does too
now?"
'Oh god,
Sammy...don't...' Dean softly muffles under his breath as he pulled himself
back from the doorway, out of the kid's line of sight. He finds himself leaning
against the wall next to the door as he is listening in to his little brother's
conversation with their mom. Hearing what the kid said about asking god if he
hated him like he does? It made the older boy's heart clench. Cause he knows
deep down inside of him, his mind--his soul, even his whole being, and most
importantly his heart...his inward parts all know that he doesn't hate Sam. He
loves his little brother more than anything; only--all the years of being made
to hate him, by their dad--took the good out of him somehow. He is in prison at
the moment and can't get out. Yet.
"Please
tell him I'm sorry too, mom? Please tell him I didn't want you to die cause I
really didn't. I promise. I really really do. Aunt Jorgine says it's wrong to
lie. Sammy doesn't lie, mommy. And please tell god I wish for Dean to love me
again. Even just a little bit, mommy. He already really hates me now...I don't
think I can take any more if he hates me even more now...it hurts too much
already, mommy...it really does. My heart hurts really bad..."
Dean's heart
could only take so much. He got out of there as fast as he could. He got on his
bike and sped off as fast and as far as his legs could take him on his means of
transportation. Tears, similar to Sam, are streaming down his face.
'god, if you
can hear me?' Dean began, 'I love him so much...I know I do. Please? Please
give my little brother's heart enough faith to hang on and wait for
me...please?'
ooooooooooooooooooo
Sam's eyes are
resting on his family's faces now.
It was a video
footage of Dean's 7th birthday and he is supposedly about to open his
present--only, the kid sees his 3-year old self in there volunteering to open
it for his big brother. But Dean didn't look mad at all. In fact, he was even
allowing his baby brother to open it for him--with their parents watching and
Eloise capturing the moments on film.
The kid
started to cry again as he was looking at his Deanie's happy face the whole
time. The only time he ever sees his big brother smile now is whenever he is
with other people. But never with him--or around him. Always from far away. He
presses the pause button on Dean's smiling happy face. The boy has his little
brother on his lap, with the kid holding onto the present Eloise gave him,
which was a Mr. Potato Head.
'I love you,
Deanie...I miss you so much.' he gives the screen with Dean on the screen, a
soft kiss. Then he pulls the gadget to his chest in a hug. "Please love me
again...even just a little bit...just a little bit..."
ooooooooooooooooooo
When the older
boy got home, it was around dinner time. He came in the kitchen as quietly as
he could. When he left earlier--he made sure first that everything was locked;
so even if the kid was alone--nobody can get in and harm him. At least from
other people the kid was safe--from him though, it was unlikely. As he was
getting a soda from the fridge, he was pulled towards the microwave somehow. Sitting
in there, was dinner. It wasn't there earlier--but now, there it is. Dean's
eyes pointed towards the direction of the swinger.
'You bake too,
Sam?' he can't help but muse to that fondly and proudly.'You take care of me
now, huh?'
Chapter
3: Bobby Bear
After Dean had
dinner, the dinner his little brother made--he immediately went upstairs with
only one desire in his head; which was to take a shower. As he was headed to
his bedroom though, that was when Sam was coming out of his bedroom door. And he
is not alone. He has Bobby bear with him; the kid is hugging the stuffed animal
to his chest as he was coming out of his bedroom door. Dean was the first one
to see Sam. The kid, for a good few seconds--didn't see Dean immediately. It
took him a couple seconds more that it took for Dean before he noticed his big
brother coming towards him from the other end of the hallway.
The older boy
could have sworn that the second Sam saw him, the kid's face lit up. And not
that Dean would admit out loud, but when he saw Sam--he felt his heart light up
too. But then his evil self overpowered him yet again.
"What are
you still doing up?" he barks at the younger boy. This time though, his
voice is a lot calmer in comparison to what he usually uses on the boy.
"And where do you think you're going?"
Sam stood
frozen in his spot, hugging his stuffed friend while giving Dean the wary look.
He doesn't respond. He hasn't found his voice yet.
"Am I
talking to a wall here? SAM!" Dean yells, making the kid jump in his
place, and then go about hugging Bobby bear tighter. "Don't make me ask
you again, you little bitch?"
"I-I was
thirsty, Dean..." came Sam's soft muffled response.
After he was
given the response, Dean walks past Sam to his own bedroom. He saw the kid
retreat and make a beeline back to his own room. Dean turns to call the kid
again.
"Where
are you going now?"
Sam cringed
where was halted with his back to Dean. He slowly turns around to face the boy.
"T-tto my
room, Dean..."
"I
thought you said you were thirsty?" Dean asks him, "Weren't you
thirsty? You said you were thirsty. We're you lying to me just then, Samuel?
Cause if you were lying to me just then--"
"I'm
really thirsty, sir..." Sam says with his breathing all shallow.
"Then
what the hell would you be going back to your room for? Get your ass
downstairs, get a drink and get back up here!" Dean tells the kid with a
harsh tone. "GO ON!"
Sam scrambles
down the hallway after Dean barked at him. Along the way though, the older boy
snatches the stuffed animal his little brother was tugging along with him. Sam
would have wanted to protest to that, but somehow--he didn't. Dean though
didn't miss the look on the kid's face after the stuffed animal was removed
from him. The kid looked like wanting to cry just then, but since he knew it
will only get him into trouble--he doesn't. Sam let the item that is of value
to him get taken away. He had no choice.
As the older
boy watched the kid's retreating figure disappearing down the top of the
stairs, he can't help but wish that things were different between them already;
between him and his little brother. He felt his heart constrict somehow as he
recalled Sam's wary look towards him.
'I'm a fuckin'
ass!' Dean says to himself in his head as he closed the door behind him and
slid to the floor. As he sat there, he looked at the item he was holding in his
hands--Bobby Bear. He didn't know what got into him, prompting him to take the
toy. But since he can't undo it anymore--he just shrugged the guilt away. He
waited til he heard Sam's footsteps outside at the hallway, going back to his
own bedroom, before the older boy got up and went to take a shower. Casually
tossing the stuffed animal on his bed before he eventually did go in there.
While he was
under the shower, the boy kept shaking his head in disbelief at what he
did--snagging the kid's probably only friend in the world at the moment. And
that is on top of everything he has already been doing to the kid since their
paths met again--over a year ago. He even manages to kick kick himself mentally
to scold for what he did, snaking Bobby Bear.
Dean, as he
was lying on bed after his shower--half an hour later; he is holding up the
stuffed animal in front of his fce, dangling it even. He remembers a memory
surrounding the item in his possession at the moment. And it is a fond memory,
he can't help but smile to it.
'Bobby
Bear...' Dean fondly says the item's name as he is looking at the stuffed
animal's beady eyes. 'I named you, you know? I remember Sam calling you Bobby
since then--after he heard me say it...' the boy hugs the animal to himself.
'Sammy...' Dean closed his eyes and pretend that he was hugging the kid himself
just then.
Inside Sam's
room, the kid finds himself alone. Really alone this time, after his inanimate
friend was kidnapped by Dean. As he was lying there, on his bed--curled up to
his side; Sam was not all that sad though.
'Bobby, please
keep Deanie safe for me, okay? Hug him goodnight for me...and tell him I love
him very much.' the kid manages to whisper right before he fell asleep as
though he was talking to somebody who could actually hear him. and with one of
his big brother's jacket under his head, by his pillow; the kid eventually let
sleep claim him.
Chapter
4: Disowned Little Heart
15-year old
Brandon Macallister is sitting on Dean's bed; he has been watching his best
friend move around in the bedroom like he was looking for something just then.
Only he doesn't even know just what that something was. Or is, rather. Whilst
he was following the Winchester boy with his eyes, the Mac boy's attention was
suddenly pulled towards something furry tucked under a pile of crumpled blanket
on his best friend's bed. Upon further scrutiny, he reaches in towards it and
soon enough when he retracted his hand, he is holding up the object in it while
eyeing it with confusion before his gaze went to the owner of the bedroom. Dean
didn't seem to notice him at first but after his attention was called and his
eyes landed on Bobby Bear in
"Okay,
let me just--"
"I know
where you're gon'na take this,
"You're
starting to get really scary, man..."
"That's
real touching, Macallister. You want us to hug now after that little
speech--what? Cause now I've seen the error of my ways? Is that it?" Dean
scoffs mockingly, "Get real,
Even before he
could get the whole word out,
It was Todd.
After separating the two, the 16-year old Williams' kid manages to keep both of
them apart while he attempted to sort what the problem even was.
"He
started it!" Dean blurts out, even pointing a finger at Brandon who was a
across the room from him--with Todd in between them, playing the referee in the
bout. "He wouldn't just let it go! He always got to stand up for that brat
when clearly, he has no right to!"
"Yeah,
somebody has to do the dirty job 'cause CLEARLY the one person who has the
right--is being a big baby about it!"
"B, who
are we talking about here, man?" he asks the Mac boy.
"Sam. His
little brother."
"Did you
just hear yourself, B?" Dean spat, "You obviously did, didn't you?
He's MY little brother--ergo, I can do whatever the hell I want with him, cause
he's MY little brother. NOT YOURS! He belongs to me!" he defended,
"MINE! So don't fuckin' tell me what I should and should not be doing to
him!" cutting in on the conversation between Todd and Brandon.
"Wait--what
does that suppose to mean?" Todd turns to Dean. "Did--did you just
hurt the kid, Dean?" the boy's brows are furrowed on his forehead as he
asked Dean the question.
"He most
probably already did--cause he's a freakin' monster!"
"Did
you?" Todd asks Dean, again. "DEAN, ANSWER ME!"
Dean meets
Todd's face defiantly and with a snarl. "What are you my brother's keeper
now?"
"If needs
be, yes!" Todd answers him. "Did. you. hurt. him, Dean?"
"He has
been hurting him, Todd...just not one time. Like hundreds of times before! He
just doesn't get caught cause the kid just loves him too much and is too scared
by him to even say anything to the old folks! "
"Maybe so
does our friendship, Macallister?" Dean says.
"If it
has to come to that, Dean--for me to make things better for Sam--so be
it."
"News
flash,
"The
wrong thing to be proud of,
"I don't
give a fuck about you or your little speech to me, man! Just--leave me the hell
alone! If you really are just giving up on me that easy? Fine by me, dude! Who
needs you? GO!" he points
"Then who
needs you?"
"Are you
two lovebirds done with the lover's spat?" Todd blurts out calmly.
"Are you?" he asks louder. Both younger boys gave each other sharp
glares but after they got the title from Todd, they turn their glares towards
him. "Talking to a couple of dumb bells here?"
"This is
between me and him, Todd." referring to Brandon and himself, "What
are you even doing here?" Dean growls at him.
"You both
clearly don't have the credentials to fix this between you two. But I do. Being
older and stuff." Todd replies. "Now you're gon'na show me some
respect here just because of that fact, both of you." he turns to Dean,
"That's right,
"What you
want a medal for that or something, Todd?" Dean mocked, "OW! god damn
it!"
Todd just
slapped him hard on the side of the head making
Now Dean, he
basically would have gone retaliatory automatically and he can too--and if it
had been other people involved, he would have too. Only since because it wasn't
other people at all but his friends, his guys, his brothers from other
mothers--people who would risk their lives and limbs for him--and had already
done so before countless times in the past; and with whom he would have done
the same thing in return too and had already--he holds his fists back in.
"If you as
much as say another word Dean, so help me--" Todd tells him off with a
straight face. Dean turns away and propped his butt onto his bed, defiantly.
oooooooooooooo
Downstairs,
Henry and the rest of the guys are at the driveway playing baskets when Sam came
back from his walk at the park just a few blocks from home. He was feeling
feverish earlier when he woke up, he felt like he needed fresh air. He went up
to Dean's room and politely asked his big brother if he could go. And
surprisingly, Dean let him. And he didn't even yell too. It was not left
unnoticed and unmerited by the kid at all; that simple act right there, which
was really nothing at all, was taken as kindness by the boy. Sam left the house
with a big warm happy smile on his face, holding on to it gratefully with all
his heart. And the fact that his big brother said his name in an even tone, not
angry at all--it was music that Sam kept replaying in his head and in his heart
the whole time he was at the park.
Earlier, at
the park...
The kid is sitting
by the grasses in front of a lake; he is sitting next to a couple of baby
ducklings who had somehow found a spot next to the kid there.
"He
didn't sound upset at all with me." Sam, since Bobby Bear wasn't around
anymore, found the next best thing--things. He told the baby ducklings that are
nearby, just like they were real people. "And he called me Sam. Uh-huh, my
big brother said my name baby duckies." he turns to the animals, "I'm
happy today...I really am." his smile reaching his heart.
Present time...
After he saw
his brother's friends in front of the house, Sam pulled himself out of view and
sat by the curb--concealing himself behind the bushes. He sat on the curb next
to the street; and sit there he did--waiting. Waiting for everybody to leave before
he can go back home without calling attention to himself by being seen. As he
sat there, the kid once in awhile peeps through the bushes at the guys; his
eyes rested on the youngest, Robin Sennett.
He has been
noticing Dean being a bit more careful with the boy in comparison to the rest
of the guys; being smaller and a bit naive, it was quickly accessed by Sam that
he is the youngest in the group; hence the reason why his big brother and the
rest of the older boys doted on him.
Just then the
front door opened and out comes Dean, looking serious--as oppossed to how happy
he normally is around his guys. Brandon and Todd follow him out the door; but
unlike Dean who went immediately to join the rest in the game, the two boys
perched on the top step and resumed talking. Sam's breath caught after he saw
his big brother's face coming out of the house, he was afraid of getting caught
being there, around his friends--around him. But nobody had any idea that he
was even there, at all.
Dean just got
tossed the ball to by Robin, the
'I wish that
for one day... I could be you...' Sam wished longingly in his heart as he
watched Dean get Henry off Robin's back, give the kid a hug and a ruffle of the
hair all right after the younger boy got the shot in for them both. "I
wish I could have Dean be happy around me too...even for just one day and I
swear I'll be the happiest kid in the world. I won't be asking for anything
else anymore." his voice trails off.
An hour later,
the guys and Dean decided to head off to the Mac's. Sam did all he could to
keep out of sight, and he successfully hid himself from the guys. Only Henry
noticed him getting up from behind the bushes and heading towards the house
noiselessly. He and Dean were behind the rest of the group walking down the
walkway headed towards the other direction just then.
"Hey
who's the kid?" the brain boy points out to Dean." He looks like you,
Dean..."
The kid froze
in his spot after he realized he'd been seen. Dean gave him a glance over his
shoulder and then casually answered Henry, and he doesn't even stop walking.
"No he
doesn't." Dean defended, referring to Sam, "And, I don't know. Next
door neighbors' prolly..." came his next response. "Come on,
Henroid?" he takes pace ahead of Henry, without so much as a peep anymore.
Sam stood there watching his big brother and his friends leave, what Dean did
just then, disowning him in front of his friend, felt more painful than
anything else he has gotten from him before. Before long, tears started to fall
from Sam's eyes as he walked back towards the house with an even heavier heart.
Chapter
5: An Impossible Option
Sam has spent
the whole day looking out the window at his big brother and friends shooting
hoops in the driveway, which he can see all the way from his bedroom window.
Every once in awhile he manages to chuckle at the goings-on down there just
like he was a part of the whole she-bang; only he wasn't. But the kid does love
watching his Deanie all happy and normal. So it didn't matter to him at all
even if he had to stay up in his room all day so he can be out of everybody's
way, he loves his big brother more than anything and seeing him looking like
so? It was worth doing everything for, for the kid. As he shifted in his spot
though, at that moment unfortunately, Dean's gaze caught the movement at his
window; right from where he was standing. It didn't bode well with him at all.
"Time
out--" he does the time-out gesture at Brandon, Todd and Henry.
"--I'll just get me something to drink, okay? Any of guys want anything
while I'm in there--cause you can get it for yourselves. I'm not getting either
one of you anything." he follows up, making the guys scowl at him. That
only made the
It didn't take
long for him to send the kid to the floor with a whimper. All it took were a
couple of punches to the face and Sam was down on the carpeted floor with a
bloody nose. It came from out of nowhere for the kid. He never saw it coming.
Dean managed to sneak inside the bedroom and towards him; grabbing him by the
colar of his shirt, spinning him towards him and finally landing the dual blows
on his face.
"D-dean...I
d-didn't do...anything..." Sam starts to whimper; tears streaming down the
sides of his face at his big brother. Dean got on one knee and grabs him by the
jaw, cutting off what he was even going to say to him.
"You
didn't? Really?" Dean scoffs to mock, "Cause I thought I saw you by
the window looking down at me and my friends just now, Samuel. But I could have
been mistaken, right?"
"I--I
made--made sure...made sure they couldn't...couldn't see me, Dean..." Sam
replies through Dean's grip on his jaw, "I..didn't know I was-sn't
ss-s'pose to look out the w-window...I'm sorry, I-I did... I'm so s-sorry,
Dean... I won't do it...do it again..."
"You're
pathetic, you know that?" After saying that, Dean let him go roughly. Then
he got up from the floor and headed back towards the door to leave.
"Dean...I'm
sorry?" Sam calls out softly.
"If I had
gotten a dime every single time you've said that to my face these past years
since you've come back--I'd have already been a millionaire, you know
that?" Dean says, "But guess what? Everytime single you've said it to
me before--and the next time you fuckin' screw-up on me--on everybody? I'll
have you know that it will never ever mean anything to me. Bastard!"
"Dean..."
Sam calls out to him again; Dean was already halfway out the door just then. He
spun around and growled, slamming the door behind him.
"WHAT?"
The kid is
looking up warily at the older boy who has crossed the room again to where he
was still sprawled to on the floor. Sam could feel his heart starting to prick
in his chest, but he is more focused on Dean's anger over it.
"Are you
never going to forgive me? Cause I'm already really sorry now, Dean...I really
really am..."
"You know
what?" Dean sat on Sam's bed, facing the kid--still on the floor,
"Yeah, maybe. Why not?" he says with a sincere-face. "I'd
probably forgive you, Sam..." That right there brought a glimmer of hope
in the kid's eyes.
"What do
I have to do? I'll do anything, Dean..."
Only to be
quickly snuffed out again.
"Bring
mom back to me." Dean tells the kid whose face went crestfallen in seconds
as his gaze averted away from the older boy's face. "What's the matter,
Sam? Was it something I said?" he scoffs. "I just gave you an option,
kid. Something for you to do to get me to forgive you. That's what you wanted,
isn't it? For me to forgive you? Well here's your big chance, Samuel!" he
nudges the kid with his foot. "Here's your chance at redemption. Aren't
you taking it?" he further mocked on the boy.
"I w-want
to...b-but...but I don't know h-how, Dean..."
"I
thought as much. You can't do anything right."
"Is there
any other way?" Sam asks again, looking all hopeful that it made Dean's
heart hurt looking at the kid's face. He looks away quickly.
"I
already gave you your chance, kid. It's not my fault you couldn't cut it."
Dean replies. "Tough." He gets up from the bed and heads for the door
again. "I better not catch your face at that window again--or I swear to
god I'm ending you!" he tells the kid before he eventually left the room.
The boy sat
there on the floor for a long while thinking over what Dean just told him. Half
an hour and he's still trying to get it to sink in. Dean was going to forgive
him if he manages to bring their mom back. He knows it's impossible but
somehow, the kid that he is--he is hopeful enough that there was a way to make
it happen...somehow.
'Maybe if I
prayed harder...mom will come back and--and Dean will forgive me by then. He
said so himself.'
"Bring mom back to me.
"Bring mom back to me."
"Bring mom back to me."
Dean's words
rang in his head; seconds more and Sam finds himself grabbing his head after an
intense headache hit him.
Chapter
6: That Time Of The Year
It was Sam's
12th birthday. May 2nd. Every kid in the world probably look forward to this
every year. The presents they are gon'na get, the extra attention, the cake,
friends coming to spend the day; but not Sam. Since he could remember, this
day, his supposedly special day is anything but special to him. For as long as
the boy could recall, what every kid looked forward to that particular time of
the year, sure they happened to him too. But so did something else horrible.
Kel's special little presents came too. And the kid particularly hated his
every birthday since then.
Kel makes sure
that the kid had it even worse from him, every time that day of the year comes.
And Sam remembers it all too well. The boy is tossing and churning in his bed.
The clock on the desk read 5:30 AM. He is having a dream--a nightmare.
ooooooooooo
"I hope you liked my present, Sam."
Sam is
dreaming of that day, his 9th birthday, where Kel gave him one of his
presents--in the public restroom at the park . The kid could still even hear
his big brother's tone as he sings out to mock him with it. Along with that, he
also recalls seeing Jorgine's warm face, looking over at him from the front
seat of the family van.
"Oh, what did you give him,
sweetie?"
His aunt
Jorgine, she asks with a big smile on her face.
"It's a ticket for tomorrow's big game
mom. Kel gave Sam two tickets so he can take Ally."
Sam remembers
Tony speaking up in behalf of Kel that time. Sam's eyes are looking out his
side of the window the whole time that day, he isn't even paying attention to
anything besides his thoughts towards someone else in particular; a person he
remembers everytime his birthday came.
'Please think about me, Deanie...'
oooooooooooo
When the kid
got up from bed, he was soaking wet with sweat. And on top of that he is
wheezing his lungs out. He could barely even get up to grab his inhaler from
the night stand. But somehow, he did. He made it. As he sat there, on the
bed--inhaler in use; he can't help but feel like wishing for the day to just
whiz by. Last year, he had a hard time with it. He knows this year wouldn't be
any different. Sam just wanted to forget he even had a birthday altogether so
he can just not relive the pain all over again, alone, in his head.
Only since
because the grannies didn't know about anything, they make Sam relive it
anyways--like last year.
Sam sat there,
crying. He is trying to not think back on how horrible his past birthdays were
to him. But it's not working.
When he got
downstairs an hour later though, he expected it to be like last year. But so
far, the house is all quiet. No grama fussing over him like last year when he
woke up. No Armando picking him up every now and then, fussing over him even
worse. Everything was as he wished it would be. It was like any other normal
day in the Whitfield manor. Sam smiled to that, happily. Appreciatively. At the
kitchen, when he came in to get himself a glass of water for him to take his
meds with; he caught a note stuck to the fridge door. Looking up, Sam read that
it was for him. From grams.
'Baby,
we're sorry we can't be home today. We know it's your special day, but your
gramps and I have to go to the farm and will be gone the whole day. It's an
emergency. But I baked you a cake, sweetie. It's in here. Happy birthday, Sam.
We'll do something special tomorrow to make it up to you. We love you.'
-Grams
The littlest
"I wonder
if we could go to the zoo tomorrow. I wish they have giraffes in there
too..." he tells himself, "I love giraffes!" a warm smile is
plastered on his face as he was having a conversation with himself and his
cake. "I love elephants too. Cause Deanie loves them! He loves
Dumbo!" he chuckles at recalling a memory in his head about that.
And that's
when his eyes caught another note up there. It was from Dean, to Amaliah.
'Grams,
am spending the day at Maureen's. Then I'm sleeping over at the Mac's.'
-Dean
Sam traced his
finger onto Dean's name on the note; that brought a smile to his face, like
it's the most wonderful present in the world to him right there.
The kid went
back to his seat and is holding the note in his hand this time--his big
brother's note to their grama; it was hand-written by his Deanie. The kid spent
the whole time, as he was eating his cake, clutching the note in his other
hand. It's the closest he could get to having the older boy around him on his
birthday--or ever. But he didn't seem to mind it at all.
"Happy
birthday, Sammy!" he tells himself happily. After having said that, and
after eating his slice of cake--Sam went up to his room and tucked the note
under his pillow carefully. As he was lying back on his bed, looking up at the
ceiling, he still can't help but allow the smile to linger on his face.
"Happy birthday, Sammy!"
Dean's note on
the fridge for Amaliah was more than enough of a birthday present to him.
ooooooooooooooo
Henry just
walked up to
"Hey B, what is up with
Dean being even more growly than usual? He has been that way all day, man. If
he starts nipping at my throat, I'm stabbing him with a fork. I'm serious. Todd
was even talking about killing him should our boy annoys him further. And
Mac--mentioned about drowning him."
"It's
that time of the year, Henry."
"Menstrual
cycle?"
"Oh
right, that's time of the month." Henry corrected himself. "What time
of the year are we talking about, b?"
"May 2nd,
Henroid."
After a good
few seconds, Henry and
"Sam's
birthday..." Henry turns to
"Yeah.
That time of the year, man."
Chapter
7: A Happy Happy Birthday?
May 2nd.
The previous night. Armando and Amaliah had just gotten back from their prior
engagement the whole day.
"Zoo it
is, then!" Armando declared with gusto last night as he and Amaliah sat on
either side of Sam, sitting on his bed in an indian squat. He ruffles the boy's
hair affectionately. Sam instinctively darts at him gratfully and wrapped his
arms around the old man's neck.
"Thank
you so much, grampa! I love going to the zoo!" Sam whispers to Armando's
ear right before he plants a soft kiss on the old mans cheek. And then he does
the same thing to Amaliah. "Thank you, grama...I haven't been to the zoo
in a long time and I really want to go there!" he kisses her on the cheek
too afer he pulls away and sat back on his heels. He may have just turned 12,
but the kid couldn't have looked any younger at that moment. He only looked 8
to the grannies. And it made their hearts ache looking at the innocence on the
kid's face; at how a simple gesture would bring about such reaction from him.
The innocence and the general gratefulness from the boy was blindingly
overwhelming.
As the couple
were about to leave the room, it was barely a soft muffle but he manages to get
the grannies' attention anyways. They stop by the doorway and turn to face the
boy.
"What is
it, baby?" Amaliah asks in behalf of the both of them.
"Do you
think Dean is gon'na come along?" Sam asks quietly. "I wish he's
gon'na want to come." his voice trails off. The kid toying with his
blanket as he is tucked under it.
"I'm not
gon'na promis anything, okay? But we'll see what we can do about it, Sam."
Armando assures the boy.
--
Sam woke up
early today, May 3rd. Like grama told him yesterday, they are doing something
special the whole day. The grannies when they got back home late last night,
they were forced to wake the littlest Winchester up to ask him about the plan
the next day; what Sam wanted to do for his special day. And only one thing
came out of the kid--he wanted to go to the zoo.
The kid is
sitting on the porch step, knees drawn to his chest as he is hugging both arms
around them. He has his cap on. A red-colored baseball cap with a number 8 on
the front of it. Sean gave him it four years ago on his eigth birthday; he has
been taking good care of the thing since then.
As he was
waiting for the grannies to come out--he somehow drifted to sleep out there. It
wasn't half an hour later when he heard voices--noises coming from the
direction in front of him. It was getting louder. And that's when he realized
what was making all the noise. They were footsteps and then boys' voices along
with that, being all rowdy and rambunctious met his ears next. Ahead of the
throng was his Deanie.
When Sam
lifted his head, his eyes met his big brother's face. He is with his friends,
coming towards the side of the house to play baskets in the driveway. Sam's
face automatically lit up the very second his eyes met his big brother's. And
the guys, they could all swear that they saw Dean's face beam as well when his
eyes met Sam's. And their friend's lips tugged on a small smile too. Only when
he realized what he was doing, he quickly retracted the smile on his face.
Dean's eyes
are on Sam as he got closer to where the kid is sitting. He had gestured for
his guys to go ahead of him to the driveway. The older boy took small steps
towards the front porch; his eyes never leaving his baby brother's. At that
moment, the guys are peering sneakily at the side of the house at the brothers.
"Did you
see our boy smile, man?" Henry whispers to the rest.
"Oh
yeah!" his friends agreed automatically.
--
Sam looked
expectant as he was looking at Dean's face; fixing his attention solely on his
Deanie. The older boy as he got closer to the porch, he unknowingly started
toeing the ground with his shoe obliviously. And then he gave Sam a nod.
"What are
you doing all dressed-up?" he started. "You going somewhere?"
For a few
seconds, Sam sat there unblinking, with a happy look on his face. He still
cannot get over the fact that his Deanie was right there--in the flesh, and
talking to him. Talking. Not screaming. Not yelling at him. Just taking at him.
Calmly. It took for Dean to chuck a crampled leaf that he manages to pull from
a plant nearby at the kid, landing on his lap, before the younger boy snaps out
of his happy trance right there.
"And? Are
you?" Dean asks again.
"We're
going to the--to the zoo, Dean." Sam slowly gets up. "It's for--for
my birthday."
"Birthday?"
Dean feigns forgetting the date. "It's your birthday today?"
"Yesterday,
Dean." Sam's face went crestfallen after hearing his big brother asking
about his birth date. 'Deanie forgot my birthday...'
"To the
zoo, huh?" Dean came closer.
"Yes,
sir."
Dean stood
there for a few seconds in silence infront of the kid; he doesn't say anything
anymore. He started to walk away towards the driveway.
"Are you
coming with us, Dean?" Sam calls out softly. When Dean turns around to
face him, the older boy saw the kid step back warily. "Only if you
want..." the boy follows up.
As he stood
there with Sam's question in the air, he wanted to tell Sam 'yes' badly; that
he wanted so much to go. Yell it excitedly even; but somehow what came out of
his mouth was different.
"Nah."
Dean tells him. "Got more important things to do--with my friends "
"Oh."
Sam's face fell with that, but the warmth is still on his face, he gives the
older boy a warm smile. Dean didn't want to look away from that; he wanted to
just keep staring--but then he doesn't. He looks away. "Goodbye,
Dean."
Dean hears Sam
softly muffle as he was walking away. His heart hurt; heshut his eyes tight to
that. When he got to the edge of the walkway, he turns around and caught Sam
sitting back down on the porch step. Half an hour later, the grannies are
walking with the kid to the family van--even loading the vehicle with
provisions for their picnic. Sam is riding on the back seat. As he was reaching
for the car door though, he tosses the driveway a longing glance. He could see
Dean and the guys taking a break from their game there. His big brother is
talking to
'I wish you
could come, Dean.' Sam whispers. And then he opens the car door; with their
gramps just got in the driver's seat and Amaliah riding shotgun, that's when he
hears his name being called upon.
"Hey
kid!"
Sam looks over
his shoulder towards the direction of the voice. Dean was looking at his direction.
"Happy
birthday.' Dean started, warily."You know, for yesterday." he finally
finishes to the younger boy. After which when he said it, he saw his baby
brother's face beam yet again. And then dimples plastered his face. 'god,
Sammy!' he can't help but sigh. The look on Sam's face made him even more
guilty.
Sam wanted to
say thanks in the most grateful, appreciative way he could muster, but even
before he could do so, Dean had already turned away and gone back to the game
with his friends. Brandon who was beside Dean earlier, can't help but smile to
that before he left the
Dean could
tell that his friends wanted to ask him about it; but he so didn't want them
to. When neither of the guys asked him anything, Dean felt grateful for that.
He then eventually pretended that he himself did nothing just then--for Sam.
But he very well knows that is a lie. He couldn't understand just what
possessed him earlier--why he even did it, and in full view of his guys no
less--but regardless, he is glad that he did what he did. Inside, the older
--
All the way in
the ride to the zoo--at the zoo and even on the way back; the grannies cannot
help but notice the extra cheerfulness their little boy was dispensing around
them. They even caught the boy several times during the day, humming and
smiling even more than usual.
He looked and
seemed happier. The reason behind it, they have no idea. They don't know--couldn't
tell. But Sam sure does and could. It was when Dean gave him a belated 'Happy
birthday.'
Chapter
8: Conflicted
Sam made a
beeline to his bedroom the minute he and the grannies came back from the zoo.
Hugging to himself a stuffed giraffe the whole time, after taking off his
shoes, the kid immediately crawled onto the couch in the den and fell asleep
there. He was too spent to climb up the stairs anymore to go to his bedroom.
The grannies are still outside and yet about to come in with the stuff they
brought to the zoo with them earlier; when they came in--they could only find
the scene all too 'aw'-inducingly sweet and precious that it could make one's
teeth rot. They came in on Dean putting a blanket over his baby brother and
even planting a soft kiss on the little boy's cheek. Both the grannies didn't
want to spook Dean, so they sneakily snuck back to the porch and closed the
door as quietly as they could. And they succeeded. Dean had no idea that he had
been caught having done what he just did.
Amaliah and
Armando decided to walk around to the back door and go in from there; they met
Dean coming in the swinger kitchen door; the boy looking confused and was
eyeing them as he headed for the fridge to grab himself a soda. He then took a
seat behind the counter top across his grannies who have halted themselves by
the doorway.
"Wouldn't
the front door have made for a shorter distance from the driveway,
gramps?" Dean finally started, right before he took a swig of the soda.
"Unless you had something to hide or something."
The old couple
felt their faces redden.
"You
didn't sneak me out an elephant, did you? Cause that would awesome. Wrong. But
awesome!" Dean laughs. After the boy said that, only then were the old
couple able to let out the breath they didn't realize they were even holding
in. They echo their boys laughter. They seldom heard the kid laugh lately and
it was a joy for them to hear it now; so they basically on instinct, enabled.
"As much
as me and your gramps wanted to, sweetie--we didn't." Amaliah walks around
the counter to her grandson and gave him a kiss and a hug. Dean is still
smirking, prompting her to quirk her brows at him. " What is it , young
man?"
"What?"
Dean asks back innocently.
"What is
with the goofy look on your face?"
"Oh
nothin'." Dean replies. That's when Amaliah resorted to tickling the kid.
The kitchen echoes with the boy's chuckles reaching all the way to the den;
Sam's eyes fluttered open after he heard it. He lifts his head up and looked
towards the direction of the kitchen. Thinking Dean is still with his friends,
he quickly sat up, grabbing his stuffed animal and his shoes, he padded towards
the stairs. Just then his eyes get pulled back to the blanket draped over his
shoulder. He wondered how he could have a blanket with him. He heard Dean's
voice in the kitchen again, that prompted the kid to grab the blanket as well
and disappear up the stairs to his bedroom.
As he sat on
the bed, he has the blanket in question over his shoulders. But then after
awhile, when he felt the exhaustion of the whole day on his little body again,
he eventually had to give up in trying to find out how he even got the item on
him and just crawled into his bed to continue his sleep.
He laid there
on his bed, curled up to his side with eyes closed--after minutes later, only
for him to open them again. A happy smile crawled up his face. He just recalled
the highlight of his day earlier, his Deanie saying 'Happy birthday' and just
talking to him like he was a normal person; which unlikely happens on any
normal day. The kid digs for his wallet from his back pocket and carefully took
out a piece of folded paper. He unfolds it and holds it up in front of his
face, not actually reading the whole thing written on it just the part with
what he considers his bestest gift yet. Dean's name on that piece of paper.
--
In two whole
months after his twelfth birthday, Sam noticed the big changes in Dean. And it
is a welcome change grannies did as well but they didn't say anything about it;
neither of them wanted to jinx anything. The boy doesn't stay out of the house
for dinner that often--he could stand being in the same room as them for longer
hours now, unlike before the first year since Sam came back. Not that Dean even
gives away the part of him hating Sam still, in front of the grannies or even
that fact that he hurts him. The old folks only get the vibe that hating was
the only thing their older grandson was capable of doing--they are not aware of
the beating up the kid senseless part that the boy is capable of doing on the
younger sibling.
Sam, for the
whole time that Dean spends his eating meals with them, can't seem to hide how
happy he was. He would be smiling and cheerful around the table, albeit quiet
the whole time. His eyes never leaving his big brother--only when the older boy
turns to his direction.
Unbeknownst to
Sam though, everytime he looks down, his big brother would look at him too.
Longing for a connection if only through their eyes; but since Sam always
averts his gaze, Dean never got what he wanted.
And then it
came, Mary Winchester's death anniversary.
Everything
else that came and happened after that day are all vague to Sam's recollection;
but not what happened on that day itself. He could remember vividly just what
that day brought him. It was the end of those happy times for him around the
dinner table that he gets to spend with his Deanie, pretending things are
alright between them and that his big brother loves him again. It was the
beginning of Dean looking at him with his anger-filled eyes again; just like
the first time he laid his hands on him the last time.
November
2nd.
The grannies,
after seeing all the change in Dean lately decided that it's time they drop
their cautiousness with Sam and just allow Dean to have the reigns again with
regards to taking care of him, the kid being his baby brother after all. They
after all know of the closeness the two boys use to share before, ever since
they were kids. And with them seeing all the good things happening in the
house, Dean refining himself both around them and around Sam, the old couple
both thought that it's time that they stepped back and let Dean practice his
parental responsiblity on the boy again just as they know their daughter would
want her son to do.
So that's what
they did; relinquish their responsibilty of Sam, back to Dean.
"Are you
sure that you and your brother are going to be alright by yourselves,
Dean?" Amaliah asks again for the hundredth time that say as Dean is
walking her to the car. The grannies are on their way to the farm for their
routine visit there. "Are you sure you'll take care of Sam?"
"You said
it yourself, I use to take care of Sammy myself before and I was still a kid
myself that time. Now I'm 16. Ergo, more capable."came Dean's response.
"Alright,
just you be sure you feed him on time and yourself too, okay?"
"I'll
even burp the little Samster if you want. I've done that hundreds of time back
then." Dean laughs. "I will take care of him, grams. Don't worry and
myself too." he assures her. Minute later and he could see the grannies
car disappear from sight round the corner. His eyes then wandered to the window
of the bedroom upstairs. He smiles warmly. "I'll take care of my little
brother just like od times." he then goes inside the house.
Pushing the kid's
door quietly, Dean saw the kid sleeping like a ball on his bed. That made him
smile even more. He sat there facing his baby brother for minutes, just
watching the kid sleep. Minutes more, he reaches in and shook the boy awake,
gently.
"Sam,
it's time to wake up." Although he was starting to warm up to the kid, he
still hasn't let his whole guard down altogether. They are still not back to
how things are supposed to be between them; it's just a hint of things. The
older boy still feels awkward at times. Aand for Dean they are still slowly on
the way yet to getting there, but for Sam though--he thinks they are already
there and he's really home.
When he opened
his eyes and saw Dean, the kid immediately latches a hug on the older boy. Dean
can't help but smile wider to that; of course he wanted to hug back, but Sam
already pulled away and is looking into his eyes expectantly.
"Good
morning, Dean."
"Good
morning, little mister." Dean greets back, "So what do you want to do
today?" he gets up and started picking up Sam's stuff from the floor and
putting them back to their proper place.
"Anything
you want to do, Dean."
"Okay,
how about we head off to Maureen's so you can meet her?" Dean suggested,
playfully pumping his brows at Sam. "You could even meet her little chick
cousins too."
"Okay,
Dean." Sam says immediately as he gets off the bed, grabbed his towel from
the backrest of his swivel and headed for the bathroom, "I'll just take a
shower first."
"It's
okay if we spent the day with my girlfriend, Sam?" Dean asks incredulously
as he sat on Sam's bed. He gives the spot beside him a pat, the kid immediately
plops himself there and latched his arm around his big brother's.
"Of
course, Dean!"
"Why?
Some little brothers wouldn't go for that, how come you would?" Dean
nudges the kid playfully.
"Cause
you're there, Dean! I want to hang out with my big brother!"
"That is
just pansy talk, you know that?" Dean laughs. "But sweet. Thanks,
Sam. I want to hang out with you too--so, I'm thinking why don't we head out to
where you want to go to instead."
"The zoo,
Dean!"
"Again?
What is up with that place and you, anyways?" Dean can't help but wrap an
arm around the kid's back musingly. "Do you have an ape-chick girlfriend
there or something?"
Sam chuckles
automatically, making Dean muse at the kid even more fondly. Sam's chuckles
were intoxicating and contagious; as he was allowing himself to get drunk in
it, he jogs a memory, the kid's laughter just made him remember their mom; how
she loves to laugh and chuckles just as much as Sam does. And that's when it
happened, Dean just bolted up from the bed and headed towards the door--Sam
blindingly following him happily.
He just felt a
warm soft hand under his hand before he got to the doorway. When his eyes
landed on that same hand, he realized that Sam is holding on to it.
"Are we
going to the zoo, Dean?" Sam asks with an equally warm smile, just as warm
as his hand holding on to Dean's so much as a word, Sam landed on the floor
with a heavy thud--on his back. The kid's back of the head thumping against the
hard floor a couple of times when he landed. The wind got knocked out of the
kid for a second as he laid there alone after Dean just left the room. Few
seconds more and blood trickled down Sam's nose as he was slowly picking himself
up from the floor. He had no idea what just happened but he sure wasn't going
to ask. As he sat on his bed nursing his head, the kid can't help but watch the
door, something was telling him to hide--and he intended to, only he was still
too groggy to stand up. And when he actually was able to stand up already, it
had been too late. The door opened again, and Dean came back in.
Chapter
9: Robin Sennett
Sam is sitting
by himself on the grassy place at the park fronting the lake. He and Dean just
parted ways minutes earlier after Amaliah made the older boy take him along
when he left the house to go to
The littlest
“You stay away from my friends, you hear me?
I’m not about to stand back and let you take them away the same way you took
mom away from me! I’m not gon’na allow you the same luxury again, asshole! I
love my friends…and you--I care nothing about! They’re not like you! So you
stay away from ‘em! You hear me?”
The kid
started to cry silently as he drew his knees to his chest and hugged around
them. Eversince four months ago, things have gotten worse between him and Dean.
Just when his big brother was starting to get around and him actually open up
altogether again, that's when the older boy suddenly turned against him again.
And this time, worse than when he first got back from
“I hate you, Samuel!”
Dean's words
to him last night. It rang in his head along with everything else that were
said to him by the older boy that was coupled with a punch to his chest. His
big brother seemingly wanted to murder him prior that night too. It was after
he went behind his back and enabled Todd to meet with the rest of the guys and
played a game of basketball at the clubhouse; they never thought they'd be
caught. But unfortunately they did.
It was something
that he considers his fault. But he just couldn't say no to Todd then he asked
him to go with him. After thinking it through though, Sam admits that it was
worth the punches he got since he was able to meet the people he could only
just watch from far away before. Dean's friends, Todd, Henry, Mac and...Robin.
Sam's eyes
skim the still waters in front of him as he recalls meeting Robin for the first
time.
"He's a
good kid..." he whispers, "...no wonder my big brother loves him. My
big loves all of them...but
--
Sam is playing
a game at the mall arcade when a hand touched him on the shoulder. Robin, who
was by the pool machine earlier caught the familiar figure sitting behind the basketball
game machine. He saw his friend Dean's baby brother from afar, playing.
“Hey!” Robin
playfully slaps the kid on the shoulder as he parked himself beside the younger
Sam looks up
and the second he realizes who it was, he smiles. He smiles at the kid who for
him is like the model kid to be, cause perhaps if he was more like the Sennett
kid, Dean would start to like him again and then later on maybe get to love him
again too. Like he does Robin Sennett.
“Hey--“Sam
acknowledges him with his wamr dimpled smile. In fact his smile was so warm the
other boy felt sore enough; especially with what he was about to do just then
too.
“You winning,
kid?” he asks Sam to engage in a conversation for a minute.
“Kind of.” Sam
smirks as he turns his gaze back onto his game. He was oblivious to Robin
becoming all too uneasy beside him. Three beats and that's when the Sennett boy
spoke again.
“Hey,
Sam--look…" he started, Sam looks up, 'god, this sucks!' he says in his
head at the gentle way Sam was looking at him. "--Dean is...Dean's on his
way here and I really don’t think it’s a good idea if he sees you here--you
know what I mean?“
The younger
“I
understand." he says almost inaudibly, he gets up from his game machine,
"I didn’t know you guys were going to meet up here.”
“I’m sorry
too, man…it’s just that, the last time didn’t go all too well. You were there,
Sam. Todd and Dean almost got at each other, you know?” Robin says in reference
to the scene at the clubhouse the day before.
“Oh god, I’m
sorry…” Sam immediately says after hearing that. "I'm so sorry..."
“I mean, I
like to be your friend too, Sam. I do, but right now, with how things are with
you and Dean… it’s complicated.”
“I know…and
again, I’m sorry…” Sam says apologetically, like he even wanted to cry just
then.
“I love my
friends, man… they’re the only family I got. I can’t let you get in the way and
ruin things…I’m sorry. So please, leave now…”
“Okay…” Sam
walks away after that.
'I can’t let you get in the way and ruin
things...'
Robin's words
stuck to him and it hurt his heart.
Chapter
10: Todd & Sam's First Date
Sam, after his
encounter with Robin Sennett found his way into the rest room. When he got
there, he got inside one of the stalls and sat there for awhile, dumb. No
sooner had he perched himself on the toilet seat when he finds himself crying.
His chest hurt. The kid didn't want to cry but somehow, he couldn't help
himself. The pain was just too much. Sam finds it sad that he was jealous of
Robin and how the boy is free to be himself around his big brother the way that
he isn't. He doesn't want to feel that way towards the boy, or anybody; it is
against his gentle nature. But somehow at the moment, it is happening. And he is
hating himself for it. That, and he misses his big brother; it is hurting him
big time since he can't do anything about it.
"Dean, I
wish you wouldn't hate me for just one day, or even just half of one." Sam
muffles, "I'm so tired of missing you, but I still don't blame you for
hating me. I don't. I hate me too for...taking mom away. It just gets so hard
sometimes I don't want to wake up anymore, Dean. I miss you so much. I really
do..." Sam is in between heart-wrenching sobs in there. "I wish you
could forgive me someday."
The restroom
door outside just creaked, startling the kid a bit. Sam quickly fixed himself
inside the stall first before he eventually got himself out of there
altogether.
--
He felt his
stomach growl a second after he got himself out of the restroom; which is the
reason behind him standing in line to pay for the box of dingdongs in his hand,
at one of the food stalls in the mall food area. He has even managed to free
one of the treats already and munch on it while waiting for his turn to pay.
After which, the kid heads towards the farthest table at the corner, where he
would less likely attract any trouble.
Before he
started eating another one of his dingdong treats, the boy just recalled that
he hasn't taken his medications yet. He looks around before digging for his
little kit in his jacket pocket and emptying them on top of box of dingdongs.
He easily downed them with the bottled water he bought with his treats earlier.
He knows he should have taken them hours earlier, his medication, but it
slipped his mind somehow.
He resumes
eating. He may be sitting there with numbers of faceless people passing him by
all around him, but still the kid's mind has blocked out all the noise as he
sat there, thinking of the earlier events; from last night to the present time
he is in. It brought him down; making him sigh heavily. And that's when, a
familiar voice pops the thought bubble over his head.
“god, how
could you eat that stuff?”
Sam looks up
and gives out a warm smile at the newcomer sitting across the table from him;
beaming him just an equally warm smile back.
“Hi, Todd!” He
even manages to give a small wave. Todd smirks to this. He also finds it
endearing that he reaches across the table and touched the kid on the face
before he eventually sat down on his seat.
“How are you?”
he asks Sam.
“I’m good,
thanks. How 'bout you?" Sam asks in return, "Want some?” he offers
while pushing the box of dingdongs on the table towards Todd. The older boy
made a face while looking inside the box.
“I’m--I'm
good, myself…thanks for asking. And no, thanks. To that.” he pushes the box
away from him. Sam chuckles at his reaction.
“It’s pretty
good really…you should try it.”
“Alright… but
if I get sick--it’s on you!” Todd narrows his eyes at the kid. After a second
of reluctance, he eventually ate a piece.
“How is it?”
Sam asks curiously; all smiling and expectant.
“Not bad!”
Todd says in between munching the piece that is still in his mouth. He takes
another piece. “Do you mind?” Sam shakes his head, smirking. He pushes the box
back towards Todd. “So why did you take off earlier, at the arcade I mean? You
knew I was going to be there. Why didn’t you say hi to me, Sam?" Sam was
about to reply but the older boy kept talking. "You just dissed me,
bro…and boy! I’m really pissed…”
Sam flinches
to this.
“I’m sorry,
Todd…” he looks down after having said this. Todd cringed and mentally choked
himself.
“Hey! Don’t
worry about it." he picks his voice up, "I’m just messing with yah,
kid!" he assures Sam, even ruffling the kid's hair playfully across the
table. "But seriously though, why did you take off Sam? Really?”
“I-uh...I got
hungry all of a sudden and I thought maybe you’d be there a long time I could
eat first and then just go back and say hi after…” Sam says with a flinch as he
tries explaining to Todd who was looking at him with a perked brow.
“Hm,
"Todd started, "You know what? You’re a pretty good ball player but a
really bad liar, Little Winchester!”
“Sorry…”Sammy
buries his face in his hands.
Todd chuckles
to that reaction from the kid. “Sam, don’t worry about it…hey! Look at
me!" Sam looks up, "Your big brother doesn’t really strike me as a
friend right now… so I’ll hang around you instead. Is that cool?”
Sam grimaced
after hearing that though. He knows he has to do with it; his big brother and
Todd being at odds.
“Are you
fighting because of what happened?" Sam asks quietly.
“Yeah, but you
know what? You shouldn't fret about that, princess!" defended Todd.
"I'm
sorry, Todd. I knew I shouldn't have gone and talked to you guys. Dean doesn't
want me near his friends and I went behind his back and did it. It was my
fault. I'm sorry you and him are fighting...” he says sadly.
"Not your
fault, Sam… he needs to get salted one way or the other anyhows.”
“What do you
mean--salted?” Sam asks innocently.
“For as long
as I’ve known Dean—he has always been one spoiled prick! He’s used to always
getting what he wants.” While he was saying this, Todd fixed his gaze the whole
time on the box of dingdongs in front of him and Sam. “You know what, kid? Most
fights we get into--half of them are his! You're brother's a hot-head. Don't
get me wrong though, i love the guy. I do. We all do. In most of the fights we
find ourselves in, we’re mostly just there to back him up since he’s our
friend.”
Sam sat there
listening quietly. When Todd said those things about Dean, he felt bad. Not
because his hero is turning into somebody horrible as Todd described; it was
rather because, it didn't bode well with him that something bad is being said
of his big brother. But he doesn't say anything though. He knows Todd isn't a
bad person.
“Can I ask you
something?” Todd asks Sam with a straight face after several seconds of silenec
between them.
“Sure, what is
it, Todd?”
Three beats.
“Are you
gon’na finish these--" Todd even points at the box of dingdong treats
sitting there, "--cause I kind’ a got the hang of the taste and stuff?
Which I entirely have you to blame for by the way. Was just wonderin’…”
“And you said
I was sick!” Sam blurts as he playfully wrinkles his nose at the older boy.
“Got you
running there for awhile, huh?” Todd teased, laughing.
“Yeah, a
little bit…” Sam narrows his eyes as he is making the “little bit” gesture at
the older boy. Todd could just laugh some more.
Chapter
11: Deanie
The brain boy
just saw Todd and Sam a few feet away, at the food court section of the mall.
That made his spirit leave his body for a good few seconds. After a beat, he
thought of a diversion. Just as Robin wanted to avoid trouble again, he isn't
too keen on another one starting again too soon.
“Hey
guys--what do you say we go catch a movie first?” he suggested, gesturing
towards Todd and Sam's direction to Robin.
“You know
what? Henry, you’re right! Come on!” he immediately agrees on the suggestion
from the older boy.
“Owk-hay,"
Marclester raises a suspicious brow at the two younger boys, "but I’m
telling you--these two are acting pretty weird today!”
“What do you
mean just today?”
“Funny, Ha-ha!”
Robin Sennett with Dean grabbing him around the neck with one arm.
“Oh come on
you guys?" Dean quickly jumps in to Robin's defense. "I think it's a
good idea!"
"Dean,
you're spoiling that kid way too much you know?"
“Hey," he
turns to Henry who is walking next to him, "...where’s Todd at?”
Henry's breath
caught.
“Todd?"
Henry started, "I don't know a Todd." he turns to Robin, "Do you
know a Todd, Rob?"
"Nope."
Robin quickly answers with a nervous smile.
"Don’t
worry about him!" Dean cuts in, "He’s probably just out there hookin'
up with a chick or something, you know him!” he added with a laugh.
“Yeah that most
probably is where Todd is!” Henry says out loud, then he lowers the decibel to
talk to himself, 'You have no idea!' Robin, who heard him, could just snicker.
“Talking to
yourself there again, brain boy?” Teases Dean.
“Yeah…once I
get the hang out of doin' somethin'...I just can’t stop, dude…” Henry bats.
Dean playfully reaches in and punches the brain boy on the arm. They are on
their way to the cinema. However, just as they were almost in the clear,
oblivious to the rest, Dean's eyes somehow STILL manages to catch what he was
not suppose to see. Sam. And he was not by himself. Todd was with him.
Dean saw the
kid laugh at something that Todd was saying; and he looked happy too. That
arrangement right there made him sore inside. He was sore with jealousy. He
could have easily darted there and do some damage, but somehow, he finds
himself doing nothing. And he says nothing either. As he was being led away
though towards the cinema, his heart was sad.
'He's my
Sammy.' he says his declaration in his head, 'You're suppose to be just mine,
Sam...'
--
Amaliah
Whitfield still has no idea whatsoever to the real score between her grandsons.
All the while, she is thinking that Dean had somehow resolved his issues with
his baby brother. She is oblivious, just as Armando is to the real story going
on in the house behind closed doors.
One day, Sam
who is turning thirteen in give or take a few months, is helping Robin out at
the Sennett boy's house. Grampy Sennett and the boy were doing some spring
cleaning that day, fixing the shelves and all. And they needed assistance. But
since the rest of the guys are away for the weekend and Robin needed help, Dean
being close to the Sennett boy offered his help. And he took Sam along with
him, involuntarily. Amaliah made him.
“I hope we
don’t run into rats here--I hate rats!” Robin started mumbling and grumbling,
"I hate rats! I really really hate rats with passion, man!"
Sam could just
shake his head t this and softly chuckle. But after he threw his friend a quick
glance and saw that Robin was wrinkling his nose at him, he attempts to hold
them in--his chuckles. Unfotunately though, he doesn't do a good job doing it.
“And he's
making fun of me!" Robin rolls his eyes upward, "You're mockin' me,
Sam!" he whines.
"I
wasn't." Sam defended with a chuckle.
"Really?"
"I wasn't
making fun of you, Rob. I just think it's funny...that you hate rats. That
you're afraid of them." Sam says with a squint. He was careful not to
offend the other boy. "But I'm not making fun of you or anything... I'm really
not. I swear."
"What?
Don’t’ tell me you’re not?” Robin stops picking up the crates and eyes Sam who
is across the room from him, picking up a box and is on his way towards the
ladder to stock it with all the others on top of the shelf.
“Not really…” Sam
responds.
“Boy! Am I
queer?” Blurts Rob to himself, but loud enough for Sam to hear.
“No, you’re
not!” Sam says with a laugh. He is already on top of the ladder with the box he
was carryig earlier. "Believe me, you're not."
“Yeah,
right?" Robin scoffs.
A little more
than three beats later, Robin turns to Sam who is still on the ladder and
rearranging boxes on the top shelf.
"Hey, by
the way, Sam...I’m glad you came along today!”
“Thanks…” Sam
offers him a warm smile in response.
“Man! The guys
sure picked the right time to go fishing!” whines Robin to Sam. “Have you ever
been fishing, Sam?” he perches himself on top of one of the crates in there.
“Yeah, I did.
But it was just this one time. I was with Grampa. He took me fishing…”
“Wow, so how
was it?”
“Cold…” Sam
says immediately, smirking. He stops just long enough to tell Robin that and
then his attention goes back to the chore he was doing. He hasn't taken a break
not even for a second since they started. He didn’t want to give his big
brother arsenal or any grievance in finding fault on him; he doesn't want him
to be upset any further should he saw him slacking.
“I bet!” Robin
smirks, he is up on his feet again and back on the chore himself; on the ground
moving the boxes towards Sam's direction for easier transfer up on the shelf.
Several
seconds later, Dean walks in the garage. Unfortunately though, that's also when
Sam accidentally moves a box out of place over his big brother's head up on the
shelf and it fell. It missed Dean's head for a few inches but it does catch him
on the shoulder.
Sam, after
realizing his blunder, automatically pales. He paled up so badly in seconds, it
was just like all his blood left his body just then.
‘I’m dead! I’m
dead! I’m dead!’ he mentally kept repeating over and over. Robin meanwhile,
after recoering form the shock first, rushes over to Dean’s side to check on
the older boy.
“Are you okay,
man?”
Dean nods at
him reassuringly. “Yeah…I’m okay…”
“What
happened, Sam?” Robin asks the kid who has just come down the ladder and is
standing alongside the two. The kid's breathing is shallow and labored as he
stood there infront of the two older boys. Dean immediatey notices how pale his
little brother was and for a second he actually felt sorry for him.
Sam looks
horrified beyond reason and seconds from crying just then.
“Oh god...the
…the box…the box--gave w…way…way when I moved it…I’m --oh god, I'm really
sorry…” Sam starts to stutter. He is nervously watching Dean nurse his
shoulder, while the whole time avoiding looking at his direction.
“You sure
you’re okay, man?” Robin asks Dean again.
“Yeah, don’t
worry about it!” he assures the kid, again.
“I’m really
sorry…” Sam quietly says apologetically.
Dean's
response was a nod before he went out. Sam stood there stupid, breathing laboriously;with
Robin giving him a squeeze on the shoulder.
--
A little later
Robin had to go inside for awhile to get some tools for some lose screws in
there; leaving Sam in there moving some of the remaining boxes at the corner,
with his back turned to the door the whole time. It wasn't a couple of minutes
later that Robin had left him in there alone, when just then, somebody grabs
him roughly by the nape. And the next thing was, he finds himself pinned
against a wall face first. The kid's right side of the face had hit the wall
hard, busting his cheek open.
“I’m...really
sorry…It was an..it was an accide--”
Dean was
fuming red in the face as he was holding the kid kid up against the wall. At
that moment, he seemed like he was intent on killing the kid. After he heard
Sam muffle something, he pulls him off the wall and spun him around. And then
he shoves him against his back against the wall again.
Sam started
wheezing. And he can't have looked more frightened even if he tried. The kid's
lips were literally quivering at the sight of his big brother's angry face.
“The next time
you get back at me, do it to my face, asshole! You hear me?" Dean fiercely
whispers, "Don’t go behind my back like this, Samuel!”
“It was an
accident, Dean…I wasn’t getting back at you…god, I wouldn't do that to you. I
swear…I’m really really...sorry…” Sam says with tears streaming down the sides
of his facefalling down the younger boy’s face.
“The next time
you try and do something like this to me, I’m going to kill you…” Dean threatens,
and then he manages to slug the kid on the side hard. It got a whimper to come
out of the smaller boy; and if it had not been for Dean who was holding him
against the wall, Sam would’ve automatically doubled up in pain for that.
“It…it …was an
accident, I swear to …you…I swear, Dean...please...please believe me?”
Dean’s one
hand find it's way to grabbing the kid by the face; his fingers are piercing
into Sam’s skin as he was doing that.
"Why
can't you just get out of my life, Sam?" Dean says with clenched jaw.
“I don't
have...anywhere else...to go, D-dean..." Sam manages to muffle,
"Please…please…don’t hurt me here--please not in front of Robin? I beg
you...please, don’t hurt me…here…" Dean would have started to throw
punches at that second, only, he doesn't get to. "Please, Deanie…”
Deanie...
It was as if
some invisible force came and hit him on the side of the head just then. The
next thing was, Dean felt warm all of a sudden. It was the first time in years
that Sam has called him that. And only his Sammy calls him by that moniker.
He let him go.
It was as if he just got burned or something.
He suddenly
recalls something that happened way back, years ago. It was one afternoon, and
he was coming home from
“I’m sorry,
Dean…” he hears Sam again. "I didn't mean to hurt you..."
Dean turns his
face away and moments later, he left. Leaving Sam there, barely standing up
straight. The younger boy watched him go.
"I'm so
sorry..." Sam whispers.
Chapter
12: Almost There
Sam lazily
came in the kitchen with half opened eyes; the sleep still hasn't cleared from
his head just yet as he made his way down the stairs minutes ago, into the
kitchen; even while he grabbed his box on dingdongs in the fridge, and his
strawberry milk-til he made his way around the counter top and perched himself
at the spot behind it which was near to the fridge. The minute he sat down,
said grace and was about to start eating--that's when he realized that he
wasn't even alone in there. That the whole time he was lazily bustling around
in there, somebody had been following him around the room, silently--with his
eyes.
The dingdong
treat when the kid dropped it made a distinct thunk onto the counter top. And
next came his soft muffled, "Oh my god...Dean..." At the moment, Sam
only had one thing in mind that he wanted to do so bad; and that was to run out
there. His big brother who was sitting behind the other end of the counter top
was looking at him, had been looking at him since he came in earlier-- but he
had just noticed it, when it already came too late.
Dean just sat
there, looking at him while munching on a cookie and apparently reading a
newspaper too earlier, since it was evidently sitting on the counter just in
front of him. When the older boy saw the kid start to get off the stool and
putting back his food inside its container, that's when he decided to speak up.
"Weren't
you hungry?" he asks, right before taking a bite of the half eaten cookie
in his hand. And then he flips to another page of the newspaper he was reading.
"Yes,
sir." Sam replies, staying put where he stood; clutching the box of
dingdongs to his chest as his eyes fixed on his big rbother who wasn't even
looking at him at the moment but at the newspaper he was was browsing on top of
the counter.
"Mmhm."
Dean gives a small nod while swallowing the cookie he was eating. And then his
eyes lfted and found Sam looking at him. It actually made him swallow
again--only this time, it was not any cookie anymore, it was more like the lump
that just formed in his throat from out of nowhere as he was looking at the
kid's piercing brown eyes on him. And it wasn't just the kid's eyes, it was the
cut on Sam's face; the one he has made yesterday at Robin's. Dean cussed at
himself mentally the whole night for what he did, just like after each time he
used to hurt the kid before. But since the pull of hate and anger and
resentment, and their dad's brainwashing was too hard to go around on; he can't
help but enable. He even found the need to clear his throat first before he
spoke again. "So, you want me to get you a cereal or something? A sandwich
maybe? What with her snoring like that? It'd probably be hours before grams
wakes up to get us breakfast."
Dean started
to get off the stool. He didn't fail to notice the kid taking a step back in
his spot the second he did so. But he didn't suggest of reacting in anyway that
would make the kid even more afraid of him as he already clearly is. The older
boy instead decided to move warily and carefully to not spook the boy any
further. When he got to the fridge, where Sam stood nearby he turned to face
him.
"So you
want a sandwich with those? Or cereal?" he asks the kid. It took Sam a
second to lift his gaze up to meet his big brother's green pair. "Which is
it?"
"I-I
would like...cereals, please..." Sam finally says, "...if it's okay,
Dean?"
"Cereals
it is!" Dean says with a big smile on his face. And then he goes around
Sam to head towards the pantry and came back with two different boxes of
cereals in his hands. He realize when he came back that the kid had not even
moved an inch from his spot. "Which one, kid?" he holds up the two
boxes for Sam to choose.
Sam's finger
found the lucky charms. As Dean was pouring the cereals into the bowl just then
in the sink, with his back to Sam, he can't help but not feel his face stretch
with the smile coming out of him. He was happy. His heart felt lighter than
air. When he heard the kid's movement behind him, even the humming the kid was
mindlessly doing as he was sitting behind the counter, Dean can't help but
strain his ears to hear everything. But before he turns around though, he made
sure his face looked normal enough. He was thinking that should the kid see him
smiling wide like that, it'd probably freak him even more. So Dean decided to
be subtle with how happy he actually is feeling. When he placed the bowl on the
counter, Sam looked up at him and smiled warmly.
"Thank
you, Dean." Sam says and then he slowly pulled the bowl towards him.
"Milk?"
Dean asks as he was about to head to the fridge.
"It's
okay, Dean...I'll use this one, but thank you." the kid replies in
reference to the strawberry milk in front of him.
"Alright."
Dean heads back to his spot across the counter from the kid. As he was watching
his little brother eat, Dean's happy smile started to creep out of him again; prompting
him to pick the newspaper up and hold it in front of his face as he read
it--just like Armando would do it. That way Sam would have no idea of the goofy
happy smile he was wearing. Only he knows about it; but he sure doesn't mind.
He prefers it that way actually.
"D-dean..."
He heard his
name being called. It sounded like music to his ears. He leans to the side to
look at Sam through the top corner of the newspaper.
"Yeah?"
"Do
you...d-do you want me to get you anything?" Sam asks softly. "Can I
get you a glass of water?" the kid offers. "I'm getting one myself, I
thought you might need some."
"Sure,
kiddo."
He didn't miss
the smile that came out of the kid just then. There was a nervous wary look on
Sam's face for a second and then it was quickly replaced with the happy look.
Dean can't help but smirk behind the newspaper.
'Sammy...' he
sighs happily and contentedly, '...my Sammy.' he smiles, "Always." he
says out loud, obliviously and was about to lean back onto his seat.
"Did you
say something, Dean?" Sam asks while placing the glass of water in front
of his big brother. It was just about when Dean says out loud what he intended
to only tell himself mentally; but instead came out was otherwise and Sam heard
him. Dean's eyes widened and that's when realized that he was sitting on a
stool.
In the den,
Dean is sitting on the long couch--head leaned back against the couch head
rest, Sam is sitting next to him--facing him. And he looks worried. The older
boy opens his eyes and found the kid looking at him.
"So,"
he starts, "...stools don't have back rests...do they?"
"No they
don't, Deanie..." Sam says empathically. His warm hand resting on the
older boy's arm-oblivious to them both.
"I
figured." Dean says with a nose wrinkle. Three beats and Sam blurts out a
chuckle. "Hey!" the older boy whines petulantly.
--
Amaliah bolts
out of bed and finds herself down the stairs after she heard her youngest
grandchild's whimpers coming from all the way down the stairs. Her mind was
swimming with both sleep and fear of Sammy being hurt. And then that's when she
finds the cause of her worry to have been unfounded. She found Sam's whimpers
to have been nothing but playful ones coming from the kid. Playful ones all
being pulled out of him courtesy of Dean's tickles.
'Aw, boys...'
she mused while climbing back up the stairs to go back to sleep.
Chapter
13: Out Of Sight
Dean is
washing the dishes with Sam drying them for him and putting them away. The
whole time he was doing this, the older boy was humming a happy tune in his
head. He is happy. And is in an all-time high somehow. Yesterday, when Amaliah
asked him to bring Sammy with him to the Sennetts', he was filled with nothing
but anger inside; he even thought of leaving the kid at the park the whole day
and he'll just be picking him up on the way home in the afternoon to fool their
grama. He didn't even want to have anything to do with the kid whatsoever- at
all since he came back to the Plains til yesterday. That was how much he still
hated the kid and just being around and seeing him near.
Only today, it
can't be any more the opposite. Since the afternoon of yesterday, after he
almost wanted to kill the boy dead with his fists at Robin's garage, and after
Sam said the magic word, 'Deanie'---it has brought about such a drastic turn
around that it would make anybody's heads who know how much Dean hates the kid,
spin. Since at the moment, he doesn't even want the kid to be out of his sight
for even a second. He wants his little brother to be near him all the time. And
so far, eversince Sam woke up, he has not left is big brother's side.
"Last
one, kiddo." Dean says as he handed the last dish to the kid, Sam takes it
carefully and after drying it up he puts it away just as carefully and then he
looks up at the older boy and smiles warmly. "Bang up job there, Sammy!
Just like a professional, huh?"
"Mmhm."
Sam says, "A professsional, Deanie!"
"So,"
Dean starts while wrapping around the kid's shoulders as they head towards the
swinger. "--what else do you want to do around here, kid?"
"We can
help
"Well, as
much as doing laundry would be every boy's dream chore, Sammy---I think we can
pass up on that for now!" Dean says.
"Okay,
Dean." Sam says quietly, "What do you want to do?"
"Let's
see..." Dean says as they stood face to face in the foyer, "...how's
about we ride our bikes around? Maybe we can meet girls along the way too. Or
we can go pay my girl a visit, Sam? How's about that?"
"Anything
you say, Dean!" Sam says readily.
"Let's go
do that then!" Dean says as they were about to head towards the front
door, only he stops short after a second after he realized something; grabbing
Sam on the collar, he made him stop too. But then, he suddenly had to scold
himself for doing what he did since Sam actually shrunk away from him after he
did what he did. "You okay?"
Sam looks up
at him warily before nodding.
"Did I
grab you too hard there,Sammy?" he asks.
"No,
Dean."
"Didn't
mean to, okay?"
Sam nodded,
looking up at Dean still wary and cautious, even toying with his hands as he
stood there infront of the older boy.
"You sure
you're alright, kiddo? I didn't mean to grab you like that, alright? I just
thought it'd be ridiculous if we both went out of the house in our jammies,
Sam. I thought we should change first."
"Oh."
Sam says after looking down at himself, he then nods and then goes on to
chuckle. "It would be funny, Deanie." says the 12 year old.
"Yeah it
would." Dean laughs, "Yeah, but I bet i wouldn't be as funny should
my girl see me and disown me for it!"
Sam chuckles
even more as they walk up the stairs to change.
---------------------
As he was
changing into outdoor clothes, Sam was humming and skipping happily around the
room. Normally he would be telling his friend Bobby about it, but since the
stuffed animal is nowhere to be found, being a hostage in Dean's custody--Sam
would have to keep his glee to himself.
'My Deanie
likes me again!' he tells himself. 'He likes me again just like before!' he
says happily.'We're gon'na have a great time today! Yes we will! The whole
day!'
He hears the
phone ring from downstairs; he even hears footsteps coming from his big
brother's room heading for the hallway and then down the stairs. That's when
the ringing stopped; his Deanie took the call. As he was about to be done
changing, Sam was grabbing his jacket from the swivel by the desk next to the
window, when he just hears the front door.
Looking out
the window, the kid saw a girl. A familiar-looking girl; his Deanie's girl. She
is by the curb standing next to her car. And then Sam saw Dean walking up to
her. And then they kiss for awhile. Then they talk for a few seconds before
Dean opens the door for the girl and then he walks around the front of the car,
got in the driver's seat. Then the car drives away. Sam stood there by the
window as he watched his big brother and his girl disappear around the corner
in her car.
The kid takes
his shoes off and put his jacket back on the swivel. He then sat on the bed and
looked around the room with his eyes. Minutes later, after changing into his
house clothes, the kid finds himself taking his dirty clothes out of the hamper
and taking them to Rosa in the basement; where he spent the rest of the morning
til Amaliah and Armando woke up and took him with them to the farm.
--------------------
While in the
movie house, sitting next to his girl--Dean felt like he was forgetting
something. It was making all distracted as he sat there, it would have started
to come back to him too, what he was forgetting, only his girl started to kiss
him. And then he kisses back. All incling about remembering his Sammy was
history.
Chapter
14: Home
It was already
late when 16 year old Dean came back home from his girl's house. After the
movies, they immediately went home and spent the rest of the day there. Come
dinner time, that's when the boy thought of going home. Force of habit, he
wanted to be home for dinner since it has been his routine lately to do. Eat
dinner at home. As he was coming up the walk, he looks up and noticed how dark
the house was. With scrunched up brows, he goes around the side of the house to
come in through the back door.
Dean was
getting himself soda from the fridge when upon closing the door of the unit,
his eyes caught the note stuck on there courtesy of Amaliah Whitfield. While
reading it---that's when the boy's eyes widened after he caught something
written there. That being his Sammy's name.
Your grampa and I are spending the night here,
sweetheart. Sam is with us. We didn't think you'd be home on time and we
couldn't leave him by himself--
-grama Amaliah
He felt his
chest constrict after reading the note. His butt finds the nearest stool nearby
next to sit on. His eyes focusing on only one thing; it was his Sammy's name on
the piece of paper which was Amaliah's note to him. The events of the earlier
part of the day came back to him making him feel warm and fuzzy. Dean could
still vividly recall his baby brother's happy smiling face as he was drying the
dishes alongside him earlier when his eyes panned out towards the sink. Even
Sammy's chuckles of the day before when they were hanging out in the den
watching television. Everything was priceless to Dean.
And then came
the events surrounding the reason why the kid is not even with him at the
moment; when he had vowed earlier on the night before that he and the kid are
never gon'na be separated again. But because of something he could have had
control over but didn't put too much effort in controlling---his plan on
rebuilding his relationship with his Sammy starting that day, was thwarted.
'Bang up job,
Dean...' he scolds him as he sat there feeling all bummed-out with himself.
Barely sitting there, sulking--he hears a knock on the back door. Looking over
his shoulder, he caught
He immediately
noticed the bummed look Dean was sporting as
"So what
did you do to the queen to make her upset this time?" the mac boy asks in
reference to Maureen's shifting moods. "You forgot to bring her flowers or
something?"
"It's not
her." Dean says.
"Oh my
god, Dean!"
"It's not
about her either." Dean slumps his forehead on the counter top.
"Man,
there's a new girl?"
"Not a
girl, Brandon." Dean lifts his head up, "And would you not be so
melodramatic here?"
"A
guy?"
Dean sighs,
"It is about a guy. A little guy actually."
"You're
into that midget transfer student from
Dean starts
shrugging into his thicker jacket;
"It's
gon'na be cold there---" Dean says. "---you comin?"
"Where
are we going--to
"Huh?"
Dean asks distractedly, "No--to the farm. I'm driving up to the farm to
see Sammy."
"Little
guy--"
"Of
course!" Dean replies, "Who did you think I mean?" he goes on
while reaching for the door, "Oh and by the way, it's Sam, dude."
Dean points out. "So you comin' or not?" he asks as he stood by the
door.
"I'm
comin' with you."
-------------------
When the
vehicle pulled over at the entrance to the Whitfield farm, Armando immediately
went concern mode at the need for Dean to drive up there for. But after the boy
tells him of the reason why he is even there in not so many words, only looks
that said he was there for Sam; but was just too proud to say it, Armando cut
him some slack.
"He's at
lake, son." Armando calls out to the boy as he and
"Thanks,
gramps."
As he was
watching Dean and Brandon walk away, Armando cannot help but smile. He is
happy.
--------------------
His eyes
easily found his baby brother's figure sitting on the wooden dock a few miles
from the farm, wading his bare feet in the water. It was just as Armando
said--Sam is at the lake. The kid was just sitting there quietly, like he was
meditating--only he wasn't. He was just enjoying the peace and tranquility of
the place as opposed to the city.
Brandon, after
taking cue on Dean looking at him when they got nearer; he stays a few feet
away to give his bestfriend privacy with his brother. While watching Dean
approach Sam, the mac boy cannot help but mimic Armando's happy smile. He is
happy too.
Dean can't
help but read the loneliness in his baby brother's eyesas he was quietly making
his way to the kid; it ripped his heart. When he got closer, that's when his
presence was betrayed. Sam hears movement peripheral to him and that makes him
look; thinking it was their grandpa picking him up cause it was getting late.
Only, it was not Armando at all.
"Deanie?"
Sam's face lit up. And his smile brightens his face up---most importantly his
eyes. Dean read all that as he took a spot next to Sam on the dock. "Are
you really here?"
"Uh--let's
see?" Dean pinches himself. "I think I am, kiddo."
Sam chuckles.
"I'm sorry, Deanie---I get really silly sometimes."
"Don't
worry about it." Dean smirks while taking his sneakers off and his socks
and rolling his pant legs up. "What have you been doing before I got here,
Sam?"
"I milked
a cow earlier, Dean." Sam says excitedly, "I also got to help Emilio
and Steven chase chickens..." his voice trails off when he sees
"Hi,
Sam!"
"I would
too." Dean says.
Sam could just
give out a chuckle to this. They have been sitting there enjoying the view and
each other's company for hours, when Sam turns to look at his big brother
sitting next to him laughing at what
'Now I am
home...' Sammy says.
END
